Joe: No one knew who he was, but is apparently the find of the year. Has a pretty polished offensive game to go with a pretty offensive (as in awful) defensive game. Rap is he couldn’t guard a stationary piece of wood. But Nets need offense, so look for him early and often while Keith is sidelined.
Champagne: Don’t ask me.
Vladimir Stepania – C
Joe: Good ol' Vlad. Unwanted in Seattle and New York, Stepania brings an outside shooting touch and some height to the Nets. Unfortunately, that shooting touch is usually the first thing to go upon arrival in New Jersey. A bit timid, he does fight for rebounds but doesn't appear to want to play inside. Also awkward as hell at times, he has trouble holding on the passes and rebounds. Should stick around for the season, as he appears to be better than both Jim McIlvaine and Evan Eschmeyer.
Champagne: This guy has terrible hands. Weak children could pluck a rebound from out of them. If he can ever put together something like a 15 point game, we're going with a headline screaming "Vlad the Impaler!" I'm spoiling that big surprise because I don't think it's ever going to happen.
Kerry Kittles – G
Joe: Lots of talent locked up inside this puzzle. Of course, he may or may not ever return from the knee problems of the last two years. Has a great shot, and is a great defender, but tends to get down on himself when things don’t go his way. If he’s healthy, he’s a big help. If not, he’s just another Net on the IR who couldn’t fulfill his promise due to injury.
Champagne: This is really sad story. He should be on the starting five, but we’ve got him last on our list, he’s so out of the picture. Spent most of his healthy years being screamed at by Coach Calipari. Deserves to come back and prosper.
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